


Bart Simpson

by Archaster



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 03:37:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7601893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Archaster/pseuds/Archaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>one-shot and as usual, it's something loosely based off of experience. i got bored waiting for my university's online registration (can you believe we have to start at midnight oh motherfucker my head is aching but tadaaa)</p>
    </blockquote>





	Bart Simpson

**Author's Note:**

> one-shot and as usual, it's something loosely based off of experience. i got bored waiting for my university's online registration (can you believe we have to start at midnight oh motherfucker my head is aching but tadaaa)

“So… where are the people?”, I asked Bataar, who was lounging on the couch by the elevator with Wing. Both of them were engrossed with their phones, trying to max out the WiFi the hotel had to offer.

“Oh hey Korra.”, Bataar nonchalantly replied, not even looking up from his phone. “Yeah I guess they’ll be here soon. You can go on to Room 520 if you want. Wei’s still bringing up the drinks.” He stopped playing with his phone and squinted at me for a while. “You don’t even drink. Why would you be coming with us?”

“Well, since you asked, I want to learn some social skills by interacting with you people. Plus, this face,”, I vaguely gestured to my face in a circular motion, “is the face of a designated driver for all of my friends’ happy hour escapades.” Wing chuckled while Bataar smiled at my self-deprecating joke. The elevator door opened and Wei appeared with a bucket filled with various alcoholic drinks and ice cubes, followed by a waiter holding the same set. He nodded in my direction while the other Beifong brothers followed him to open Room 520 and set up the drinks. _Beifongs probably planning to get wasted tonight with that amount of alcohol._

Wing called from the hallway. “Korra? Where are the others? I thought everybody was going to here for an after party?” His voice echoed and I let it sit in silence for a minute as an old man passed by and went to the same direction of Room 520 but turned right to enter the room across. He fumbled for his key, scrunched up his face in disgust when he saw the myriad of bottles the Beifongs with the waiter were setting up, and glared at me when he noticed I was watching him enter his room. I averted my eyes and tried to play it cool, getting some pertinent information about him through stolen glances: old man in a work clothes with a briefcase and loosened tie. _Must be from the conference going on at the lecture hall some floors below_ , I thought. _Well sir, we are a couple of children who plan to spend the night away with drunken stories and raucous laughter. Better get your deep sleep on_.

I proceeded to Room 520 as the waiter left. I glanced at the bottles neatly lined up on the counter near the door. _Forget about wasted. This amount will get their great grandchildren drunk as fuck_. The room was small to fit the dozen people Wing invited for drinks. Two beds were separated by a bedside table with a large lamp. The bathroom seemed big, but the door was too close to the toilet one’s knees will be hit if you’re sitting on the toilet seat and someone opened the door suddenly. There was a bulky dresser after the beds, and the sliding glass door led to the small veranda. The AC made silent humming sounds all throughout as it cooled the room. I sat on the bed nearer to the veranda, and observed the Beifong brothers in their natural habitat, popping some beer crowns with another beer crown. Bataar kept a good rhythm and saw my amazement at his skill. He gestured for me to come over the countertop and took two bottles for a demonstration.

“Wanna try? What you have to do is to interlock the two crowns, with one beer bottle at a right angle to the upright one. The use the force from junction between your thumb and forefinger to lift up the former to the latter, and presto, engineering marvel. You don’t have to angle it too high, that’s way more inefficient.” An audible pop of the crown and soft hiss of the beer followed his lecture. I stood stunned by his side, and asked Wei to give me two bottles to practice on as well. I was trying for the fourth time to topple the crown when everybody walked in.

“Oh crap that is a lot of alcohol. Opaaaaal! How will I survive the night?! There isn’t any _foooooooooood_!”, Bolin whined as he barged in and saw the alcohol stack. Opal followed him inside and threw him a pack of Cheetos Wing had handed her from his bag. “Oh sweet! Thanks, Wei!”

“It’s Wing, Bolin. For the fiftieth time, I am Wing.” Wing busied himself with more preparations along with the other Beifong boys.

“Right, sorry.”, Bolin apologized as he sat down where I was earlier and munched with abandon. Cheese powder was quickly falling on his shirt. Opal sighed and smiled, as she sat beside him and also started to take pieces from the pack. She waved a cheese strand at me. “I thought you didn’t drink? Soaking up the liquid courage to talk to someone for tonight?” She gave me a chesire cat grin and resumed eating. I coughed and didn’t bite her bait. I pretended to be focusing more on the bottle trick but then more people entered the room. Mako, who took two beers, popped both open with the same trick I was learning, and lifted his eyebrow at me upon seeing my astonished face. Wu came in next, saying something about the poor design this room has, and Mako handed him the other bottle as he passed by. Wu thanked him by kissing him on the cheek, and Mako took a swig of his beer, a slight blush on his cheek. He looked at my open-mouthed expression and raised his eyebrow again.

“What?”, he said.

“You are a straight-laced detective. I never knew you could do that bottle trick. Or that you are with Wu.”

“I grew up on the street, Korra. Of course I picked up some practical skills, and besides, you’re the designated driver so I can be a little lax on duty tonight. About Wu, you actually are really dense because we were already dating three months ago.”, he said with finality.

“What the fuck? How did I miss that juicy piece of news?”

“Maybe because you were too busy pining and hiding your gay away from As—ggghhrrkk”, but I made him chug his beer before he could finish that sentence. There was some pained or drowning sort of noise from Mako’s mouth but it had to be done as Asami just entered the room with Ikki, chatting happily. Kai and Jinora followed next, arm in arm and sharing sweet kisses every now and then. The last couple took their seats on the bed near to the bathroom, while Mako followed Wu and sat on the floor next to the sliding door. Mako was still glaring at me while coughing slightly. Asami got herself a glass with iced cubes and poured some sort of alcohol on it, and made her way and sat beside Opal while Ikki did the same next to Jinora, much to the latter’s annoyance. I gave up on the bottles and found myself a seat on the extra chair positioned across Asami’s. She smiled at me and lifted her glass. I smiled and nodded. _Just play it cool, Korra_.

“Oi so this after party, can we do it tonight, yeah? God where have you all been? I’ve already got a good head start.”, Wei complained as he finished another bottle. I looked at him and didn’t notice the small pile of drinks near his feet. I counted around four.

“Since we are all partially drunk, let’s go for a simple game to get things rolling. Do you know the game “Bart Simpson, Bart Simpson”? Basically someone says a category, then we all cite examples of it. The person who repeats an answer already mentioned, or who can’t answer within five seconds, loses. For that, they have to answer to the proverbial question, truth or dare?”, Kai suggested, finishing his first bottle. _How the fuck do they manage to drink and I don’t even notice it? Mako’s right, I’m fucking dense._ I shook my head and steal a glance at everybody. They seem to be on board with it. I stealthily glance over to Asami and see her knocking back her whiskey glass. _God how does she make something so ordinary as drinking from a glass so stunning_.

“Okay people, let’s get started!”, Ikki enthusiastically exclaims. “Bart Simpson, Bart Simpson, give me an example of…um… brands of alcoholic drinks! I go first! Budweiser!” Ikki then looks to her right, where Jinora is seated.

“Heineken.”, Jinora calmly answers.

“Jagermeister!”, Kai waves his bottle over his head.

Wing shouts “HOEgaarden!” while Wei glares at him and stutters. “Oh shit I forgot—brandsbrandsbrandsherewegooo—San Mig!”

Bataar tips his glass to everyone else as he savors “Johnnie Walker.” Asami nods in reverence and lifts her glass in Bataar’s direction.

I was too busy following the logic of Asami’s gorgeousness because I didn’t even notice that it was my turn and they were already counting down on me. “Korra? You’re up! Five—”

“Waitwhat?!”

“—four!”

“Jesus fuck gimme one of those bottles!”

I frantically look around for any brand, any can that can save me from embarrassment. They continue to cheer and jeer me on. How poetic.

“—three!”

I see one of the discarded cans by Wei’s foot and grab it, trying to make sense of the label. _Please save me o dear beer can._

“—two!”

_Japanese beer?! Was this here even before?! Superdry Asabi?!?_

_“—one!”_

I stood up, gleefully pumped my fist in the airm and proudly proclaimed my brand. _“_ Asami!”

Only they burst out laughing when I did.

“Korra, that’s _Asahi_. Not _Asa-_ mi.”, Mako corrected me. _Oh sweet baby Raava just open up the ground and swallow me whole_.

“Pay up, Korra! Truth or dare!”, Wu drunkenly stood up and pointed a finger at me. Mako chuckled but made sure Wu was steady.

Admitting defeat, I said, “Okay, okay! Truth!”

“If Asami was indeed a drink, what would you do to her?”, Bolin waggled his eyebrows at me while Opal sniggered. Asami refilled her glass and was swirling the liquid in it, looking at me intently while keeping her eyebrow playfully arched. I felt my cheeks heat up and I instinctively scratched my neck in embarrassment. _Goddamit Bolin!_

“I…uh, well if-if she was a drink, well um… what do we do with drinks? Eh? I’d-I’d uh, hmmmmmrrrrgghhhhilldrinkheruptillthelastdrop. That’s all thank you.” I clenched my mouth and shot daggers at Bolin. Wei wolf-whistled and clapped, while everyone laughed their asses off at my expense. Asami was smiling, but it was a different kind of smile, kind of like she was boring into my soul and making me feel… _things_. She got up and walked to where I was. She positioned herself as though she was going to pass me by, but she stopped so close to my ear, I could even feel her warm breath that made me shiver. She lightly nipped my earlobe, and that sent my system into overload.

“Drink me up until the last drop, huh? I’ll hold you on to that.”, she whispered seductively as she went on her way while flipping her phone from her pocket and acted as though making a call. She went out of the room but left the door ajar enough to make sure I saw her wink at me and nod to the hallway to follow her. _Was I reading that wrong?_

I looked at everybody and they were still in stitches with what I said.

I slowly made my way out of the room and grabbed a can for myself. She was waiting near the fire exit, this time beckoning me with her index finger and her bottom lip in between her teeth.

I downed the whole can as fast as I could and sprinted down the hall.

Spirits know how much liquid courage I need for this.

**Author's Note:**

> leave comments/reactions/suggestions/say hi or whatever


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